Let it Be
by its a story of love
Summary: My take on some of the Queen's thoughts about well herself and Henry. It's late and my summaries always suck! OUAT SPOILERS FOR 6X14


_t's late, and I wrote this quickly so it's probably full of mistakes so apologies for that. Hope you enjoy it regardless. Let me know what you thought?_

 ** _Whisper words of wisdom, let it be_**

Her father had lied to her. Betrayed her. She didn't expect it to hurt so much, after all it was just another person to add to the list. Another person who didn't care, didn't listen. Part of her knew why he did it, that he was just a father- who was fulfilling the need to protect their child. A child grows up eventually, and the world is cruel and unforgiving. You can protect for everything apart from yourself.

The arrow could still be helpful, could end this all- just not in the way her father had hoped. She set to work concocting the spell, avoiding looking at her papa. She couldn't see the disappointment in his eyes. Not yet.

The spell was complete and the facade was up.

There was a fine and fragile line between love and hate, the sad truth sometimes the hate is easier to accept. Easier to understand.

The tip of the arrow turned back, and the Queen paused, questioning if this was the right decision, if she really wanted to know the answer to the question.

She grabbed the bow before it was too late, drawing it back and releasing the quiver. It was too late now.

The arrow was following the path they had taken. Towards the castle. Well that foolish brat didn't waste time did she. She was looking forward to finally clutching that heart, crushing it.

Her throne room, oh she was going to enjoy killing the bitch. It was only when it hit the cabinet she began to accept that the spell hadn't worked. Of course it hadn't.

The mirror.

The person she hated the most was herself. Like she needed fucking confirmation from a stupid arrow. She was broken, she'd been broken since her love was killed by her power hungry mother. She hated how weak and powerless she was. The power was nothing but an illusion, it had only made her more lonely. She was dependent on it. She was dependent on the Queen. The woman everyone ran from.

/

It would end tonight. The Queen was finally going to get her happy ending. She was going to crush the hope, the love, the weakness. She hated her. The better version.

/

She was going to die. Regina had her trapped. Her heart in her hands. This was how her story would end. The Villain losing the final battle to the hero

Regina paused, what was she doing, prolonging it as some kind of torture.

The anger, pain- she squeezed the heart. Regina hated her.

"I'm going to chose love over hate". That's what she said. Love, The Queen had condemned love as a weakness, it had only bought her pain after all, she knew she had been wrong, but to open up yourself when that's the only thing you have left. That required a strength she didn't have. Regina did. Regina did and she was using it to save her, them.

"I love myself" yesterday she would have laughed at that, mocked how the charmings had really rubbed off on her, today with the unfamilliar ache in her heart, a rush of warmth she couldn't. She felt strange but for the first time in a long time she felt whole.

* * *

She looked at Regina, saw the familiar smile- it was gracious and real, the embrace shocked her, she wasn't used to affection, It was awkward at first, forced almost, but soon enough she released at least a bit of the tension, and let herself be.

The last person to hug her was her father. Her father who loved her for who she was. The good, the bad, the ugly. Nothing was perfect. Aiming for perfection only leaves us further to fall. She didn't need perfection though, she didn't want it. She wasn't her mother.

/

Words have a hold over us all. We use them to find meaning in something, to describe a feeling.

"Mom" is one of the most powerful words of all.

She didn't think it was real, some cruel twist of fate again, a dream she would wake up from, except it was, real.

To hear him say it, that one word, it made her wish she'd given up revenge long ago. Made her wish she'd tried harder. She didn't believe in regrets, she did everything for a reason, no matter how stupid it seemed now.

She hugged him- her wise, brave and grown up son, she would always be his mom, no matter where she ended up, and she was proud to be part of his story.

/

She supposed she had been searching for love like it was something to be found. There is no treasure map with X marks the spot, or a rainbow leading you to the pot of gold. Love cannot be found, it just is. It's in the way we allow ourselves to be free- free to any possibility. It's in the way we are proud of our achievements, and vow to learn from our past. Love can only be found when we look at ourselves and realise that not everything has to fit. Not everything has to work. Sometimes things don't make sense because they aren't supposed to. Love is the chaos that we all strive for.

 _ **Well that last bit got deep.**_

 _ **Let me know what you thought, I really appreciate any feedback**_


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